As I’ve tried to clumsily mention a few times before, I hit some serious burnout at a previous job. I didn’t seek out the help I should have when I did and from that I’ve suffered bouts of moderate to severe depression. In 2021 I got hit by a big one, but this episode was rather deeper than usual and very tenacious. While I managed to continue the CoffeeCraft live stream, and some sort of Friday content, Games Revisited stagnated. The CoffeeCraft website was neglected. It also deeply impacted my work.
After some time I finally started seeking the help I should have sought years ago. But that’s another article for another day. The relevant part for today’s post is that in addition to therapy, the doctor tried to find some medications to help the process. One particular left me feeling rather miserable, and I started the usual withdrawal process.
End of August 2022 I was out of work for a week, feeling especially miserable. And when it didn’t abate, I went to the ER thinking this was just a rough med withdrawal combined with a bug that was going around the apartment. I remember admission, vaguely remember a CT scan and an ambulance trip. Next thing I know I’m at the Duke ICU being told I have Acute Leukemia. It’s a legit miracle that I survived. In that time I don’t recall, it was discovered that I had 52 brain bleeds (2 major, 50 minor) and none of them impinged on my grey matter. My left lung had apparently started to collapse, and some of my blood factors were so far off the doctors didn’t know the results could show those numbers. Apparently 98% blasts will do that.
I spent the next 2 1/2 years or so fighting Leukemia. I was out of work for a little over a year, going through chemo, radiation, and regular week-long visits to the hospital. Feb 2023 - Valentine’s Day no less - I went through a bone marrow transplant. Which had it’s own miracle - while I didn’t have any family likely to have a good match, an anonymous donor was a 6/6 match. Some young man out there was a perfect fit and the reason I’m as well as I am. Thank you Sir. I received a lot of blood and blood product over this time too - if you’re able to be a donor, please consider it and give. You never know how many can be helped. While I was previously a blood donor, I can no longer do so.
It wasn’t until October 2023 I could return to work in any capacity. Turns out, one of the anti-rejection meds causes me to have rather problematic hand tremors. Not the best thing for someone who repairs/refurbishes stringed instruments and regularly uses blades, chisels, bandsaws, and belt sanders.
After some rather frequent (though diminishing) uses of time off options, I was finally back to regular work. At my appointment in Feb 2025 I was declared officially in remission. I am currently, and have been since Feb, at that frustrating “almost back to normal”. Coupled (related to?) a resurgence of depression, I’ve been struggling to get all sorts of things back on track.
Though I could, and do, complain about the cognitive and memory issues I still have as of writing this, it is still a miracle I’m here. And even more so a miracle I’m doing as well as I am. I thank God for every day above ground and able to complain.
I’ve got a few things to do here, and it’s probably a good starting point. Fortunately, one of my brothers-in-law helped me get the various livestream posts caught back up. I just finished a “good enough” CV since I found out the Stack Overflow Careers page that I could supposedly count on disappeared somewhere along the way. I’ve made a few other minor changes, but what’s really needed is an overhaul. I’ve been using the “temporary” hacked together theme to emulate the OG Blogger setup for far longer than intended. I’ll probably start modding the Minimal Mistakes theme to blend a good, existing project with the existing site look.
I need to update links to the various places I have profiles and contributions, and figure out a decent design to float the active places while still having the others available. I want to reliably say “if there isn’t a link at AnonJr.com it’s not me” when asked.
I’ve got to sit down and think about what exactly I want this site to be in relation to my other projects. Is everything else a sub-project of AnonJr.com or is everything a sub-project of Wayward Son Developers? I’m also thinking of cross-publishing on Substack and Patreon. I doubt it will turn into much, but I’d like comments without the overhead of managing a comment system. I did the work when forums were still a major thing, and that was before a lot of the current issues. I’ll be happy to make that someone else’s problem. And who knows, maybe someone will sub. I’d have to post more, and more frequently though. (I will maintain this site as the canonical source. It’s long been a truism that it’s best to keep control of your stuff on your own website instead of relying on MySpace/Facebook/Substack/etc., and after hearing the trials of some trying to move from A to B, or finally going from A to their own website, I’ll skip the suffering and keep this place.)
I will work to build my writing muscles back, and on more topics, but first I need to get either a mail-forwarding setup or a PO Box. My stepfather unexpectedly passed away, and while I’m happy (well… not “happy”) to have the domain registration and whatnot point to my address, I’m going to be at mom’s house taking care of her for a while. I’ll not have random stuff/people show up on her doorstep because I said something on the internet.
I think I’m going to leave these dormant for now. I’ll go back and at least update the CoffeeCraft website to account for the server info and changes I missed, but I’m not really digging a lot of what’s happening in the Minecraft world. I’m just not feeling a return at this point in time. Who knows, maybe it will come back in one form or another.
I kind of miss the live streaming, even if I had all of 3 people watching at any given time. I want to get Games Revisited going again, and maybe find a good mid-week chill type game to stream in place of CoffeeCraft. I keep vacillating on making Bible by Example a “live to tape” podcast, similar to how I was running Games Revisited.
Before I do anything, I need to get a proper streaming setup going again. My current borrowed desk is a little too limited for what I was doing before. I also need to finish switching the software side from XSplit to StreamLabs OBS. I’m mostly there for the essentials, I’ve just got a few theme things to figure out. I also need to give my Twitch and YouTube some TLC. The banners and schedule are off. I’m pretty sure there’s some other stuff I ought to set up like the Twitch Stream Points thingy. It’s not something I use when I watch others, so it’s not something I ever got around to setting up. There’s probably some other stuff along those lines I need to poke around and learn about.
Bible by Example has been one of those projects that’s been on my heart for years, though due to internal confliction, I’ve not made any real progress on it. On the one hand, I have no degree or formal training. It’s the sort of thing that makes me wonder why anyone would care two shits about what I had to say. On the other hand, the Peter of the Gospels and the Peter of Acts were different - and not because Peter went to some “40 Days to a Better Rabbi” book, but because of the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. If the Lord could use Peter, surely he can use me as well.
I need to settle and write out the goals for the podcast/study, and the methodology I’ll follow. I know I want it to be non-denominational (actually not tied to any particular denomination, not the non-denominational denomination), I have some audience goals, and a vague sense of what I want the finished product to look like.
Once I get that figured out, I can start work on the website and figuring out how I’m going to host and publish where I want to publish.
These projects have also been on hold for a bit. Once I get the CoffeeCraft and Bible by Example sites finished and settled, I’ll update Wayward Son Developers and make it a better portfolio type site. I may put an “old projects” section together for the various things I’ve worked on previously, especially if I make this the umbrella under which I do AnonJr.com/Games Revisited/etc. Probably need to sort that out first.
I really feel like I’ve forgotten something, but at this hour that’s not surprising all things considered. Hopefully I’ll be writing more and more varied in the future. That’s the plan, time will tell if I can manage it.
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